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12 chapters · seed collection

HopeChapter №5

One Small Reason

I couldn't find a big reason to keep going, so I started collecting small ones…

March 27, 20262 min read
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FatherhoodChapter №31

The Man My Son Thinks I Am

He describes me to his friends and I don't recognize the man in the description…

March 20, 20264 min read
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GriefChapter №65

The Chair He Used to Sit In

We kept the chair for a year. Nobody sat in it and nobody moved it…

March 14, 20263 min read
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HealingChapter №74

What Healing Actually Looked Like

Nobody warned me that healing is mostly boring, repetitive, and unglamorous…

March 8, 20264 min read
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MotherhoodChapter №203

I Miss Who I Was Before Motherhood

I love my children, but I struggled to recognize the woman looking back at me…

March 2, 20263 min read
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FaithChapter №12

Learning to Pray Again

For years, I thought God had stopped listening. The truth was that I had stopped speaking…

February 24, 20264 min read
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IdentityChapter №7

The Name I Gave Myself

For most of my life I answered to a version of me other people had drafted…

February 17, 20263 min read
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Mental HealthChapter №118

I Almost Gave Up

There was a night when I convinced myself everyone would be better without me…

Content note: Mentions suicidal thoughts.

February 11, 20264 min read
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RelationshipsChapter №88

We Were Kind to Everyone but Each Other

We were the couple people called when they needed help. At home we barely spoke…

February 2, 20264 min read
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IncarcerationChapter №47

The First Night After Prison

Everyone told me I was free, but I still felt like I needed permission to walk outside…

January 29, 20265 min read
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Starting OverChapter №143

I Started Over at Forty-Three

Everyone said it was brave. It didn't feel brave. It felt like falling with a plan…

January 18, 20263 min read
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RecoveryChapter №900

Nine Hundred Days

Day 41 was the one nobody claps for. That's the one I'm proud of…

Content note: Discusses addiction.

January 6, 20263 min read
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